The sorrow of stones in life
by dahellraider
Summary: imagine the ending in me3 went well for an unknown reason and there can be a future between Ashley and M/Shepard a story i plan to continuously add to
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own anything here bioware has done and make no profit in my work… yaddyaddayadda

I am new to the fan fiction so any help along the way is appreciated. Like most fans I was heavily depressed with the endings to mass effect 3 and even though I have hope they will be changed. I want my Shepard to have some kind of happy life after the war. My Shepard romanced Ashley in the first mass effect and stayed loyal in the second and my stories here will concentrate on them both.

By Dahellraider Special thanks to owl208 for helping with my Revision

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><p><strong>PROLOGUE<strong>

Hours later after the battle, Shepard was awakening from what seemed like all but a dream, his eyes could barely see any signs of light and he was trying to shove his way out of the rubble that engulfed his body. Noticing it was useless to struggle, he stopped and thought for a moment. "I did it" he said to himself. "I defeated the reapers and…Ash" he stopped right then and there and realized he has no idea if Ashley is alive or not. And if she wasn't, it would all seem for nothing to him.

He knew he should have told her to stay out of the fight the night before they hit the illusive man's base. But she was a marine. And not just any marine, but also a Spectre now as well, so it would have been impossible to convince her otherwise. Wanting to continue to make his way out, he realized this was the first real moment in years he could actually relax and think about the future.

**CHAPTER 1: In the stones of sorrow **

Ashley was still digging through the rubble for the past 6 hours "no…not again, I can't lose Shepard again" Ash was screaming to herself, over two years ago she was left helpless in the Normandy's escape pod seeing Shepard suffocate to death not far away screaming in the comm for Shepard not to go. She was an emotional wreak after that day and never fully recovered despite the fact that 2 years latter Cerberus had brought him back to life.

Garrus came over to Ashley and had to force her to stop.

"Stop it! You're of no use to the Commander like this, just look at yourself" Garrus insisted.

In that moment Ashley looked and didn't even realize how bad her hands were after the countless hours of digging. "I can't lose him" she paused "I will not lose him again Garrus."

"Believe me Williams I understand, that's why we will take over for you so you can go rest"

"We?" Ashley replied, she looked behind Garrus and was shocked to see that that Wrex, Vega and a few other alliance marines had just begun to start digging. Admiral Hackett had just recently declared him dead in the line of duty saying there was no way anyone could survive that blaze of destruction. However Ashley and a few others saw a quick transport beam into this rubble just before the citadel had been destroyed and she just knew it was Shepard.

"Yes now for your own sake go rest, I promise the second we find any signs of him you will be the first to know."

"Find him Garrus" Ash demanded "without him I am nothing" Garrus nodded and helped Ashley up as she made her way to a small encampment nearby.

She didn't have to go far, in fact, she could still see them all digging from where she sat. A field medic came to her tending to her hand wounds and gave her some medi-gel. With all that was going on in her head she didn't even realize she was experiencing pain. Only the other night, Shepard and she expressed how they truly felt towards each other. It was the real first time that Shepard had told her he loved her. And she was probably going to lose him again "no I can't think that way, I need to keep myself together" she cried to herself.

Looking around she thought to herself that this didn't look like Earth at all, more like another planet with all this rubble. In the heart of London and it seemed like nothing more than the bottom of a quarry. She heard someone walking towards her but was too depressed in her thoughts to even turn.

"You look like someone just shot your dog"

Ashley turned to the unfamiliar voice of the woman and even thought she is someone she never talked to, Ashley could recognize her anywhere.

"Captain Shepard" she tried to get up and salute.

"At ease, Lieutenant Commander, she insisted."

It was Captain Hannah Shepard, Shepard's mom. Ashley had seen her before at the funeral all those years ago, but she dared not to speak to her then. The last thing she wanted his mom to think was her own son was breaking regulations by sleeping with one of his own crewmembers, with Shepard coming from a military family and all.

"I know who you are Williams, you don't have to hide the fact that you loved my son."

"How long have you known?" Ashley replied.

"My son never kept any secrets from me; in fact he always shared them. He told me shortly after the battle of the Citadel and talked on and on about wanting to retire with you, once the threat of the reapers was dealt with, of course." Hannah explained.

She continued, "I tried to reach you after the funeral, but honestly it didn't look like you wanted to talk to anyone, so I figured that you would come to me at some point."

"He only recently just told me how he really felt and now it seems like I might lose him forever this time around," Ashley spoke looking towards the rubble.

"I figured you would like to know that your family is still alive and well; they were with the few that managed to escape the citadel when the reapers took it by force." Hannah said, trying to reassure Ashley in the slightest. She knew that her family was important to her, since Shepard had told her once before.

"If it would help at all, I could have them transported down here to see you?" Hannah asked.

"No." Ashley said bluntly. "I don't want them to see me like this, I….I have too much on my mind right now." "However, I would appreciate it if you at least told them I'm alive." she insisted.

Hanna simply nodded "I have duties to attend to, Williams." I believe you and I insist you stay for however long this takes." Hannah said, turning to head back to her transport. She turned towards Williams before she walked off saying, "For what it's worth, I would love to think of you as a daughter."

Garrus signaled Vega to come over to help move a piece of ruble that was hinged in deep. "What's wrong Garrus, I thought you turians were all strong and all," Vega joked as he came to help him. They have been digging for what seemed like hours, but it had only been a few minutes. It wasn't helping that they haven't rested since the galactic fleets came back and liberated Earth last night.

"Says the human with the muscles of a krogan," Garrus quickly replied, answering his joke with another.

"Just trying to keep you on your toes, so um you think the commander is really somewhere down here…..or were you just saying that to get the LC to stop digging herself to death in shock?" Vega stated.

"Both. Williams is a friend and I owe the Commander my life many times over." Acknowledging Vega as he was still chipping away stones, "besides Vega, if your mate was in there wouldn't you search Intel the end of time" Garrus continued.

"Wait, what….." Vega said confusedly. "You're not telling me the Commander and the Lieutenant Commander well"

"How blind you are Vega, did you really not notice because I think everyone knew."

"I thought she was digging for so long because of how long they been friends and all," Vega told looking at Garrus. "I guess is should of figured it out with how distracted the Commander was when the LC nearly bought it on mars" he told to himself.

"Hey what's this?" Garrus said as he was picking up what looked like a piece of metal with the label N7 on it. "This looks like part of the Commander's armor!"

"Are you sure? There were other alliance marines charging in the final push with Shepard, Garrus."

"Yes, but none of them were wearing N7 armor. Besides, I'd recognize the paint Shepard uses on his armor anywhere."

Garrus flashed his Omni-tool down what looked like a small hole through the rubble and could barely see a figure down there. "Commander is that you?" Garrus shouted. If it was him, he wasn't moving and looked as solid as a brick.

"Did you find him?" Vega asked quickly.

"I'm not sure. It could be him, but it's really deep down there, so it will take a while to get to him if it is."

Garrus ordered everyone to come and help dig at that spot. "Keep digging! I think we may have found the Commander! I'll be back with help!" Garrus ran off knowing they were going to need better equipment and more bodies to get to at Shepard down there if of course that was him.

Continued in chapter 2…..


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own anything here bioware has done and make no profit in my work… yaddyaddayadda

By Dahellraider

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><p><strong>Chapter 2 Memory of Ruins<strong>

Ashley saw garrus ran off as everyone had starting digging in the same spot "did they find him" she said quietly to herself "should I go over there" she was thinking what if it wasn't him, what if it was and he was dead could she come and face that. She slowly stood and while forcibly debating in her mind walked back towards the ruins thinking of nothing but Shepard.

She thought of does moments when the skipper would visit her in the garage of the first Normandy. How a simple professional friendship turned into a romantic one. How sorry the skipper felt for how her family was treated in the military because of how her grandfather was the first human to surrender to an alien force. She skipped ahead to a particular moment.

"whatever you come up with you can count me in…I know I'm not the easiest person in the world to get to know, so I'll do you a favor just this once. I...Want you to be happy whatever you need ill help; there you made me say it. Boom goes my feminine mystique" she gave a slight laugh after that line

"I've had a hell of a time figuring you out, but I think I have. I… want you to be happy too" Shepard replied

"You better" ash said with a slight tease as she reached to help to commander off the floor and as he came up, he quickly grabbed her should and they both gave the longest look into each others eyes as there lips grew closer and closer.

"Sorry to interrupt commander, we got a message from Captain Anderson" joker said over the comm.

She gave a slight smile to herself with the thought joker always had a way of coming in just at the wrong time. And even though, they didn't share that kiss at that moment. It was latter that night before what they thought would be a suicide mission into Ilos did they truly give in regulations meant nothing for them anymore.

How after the battle of the citadel even though they came back as heroes rather than criminals they still went on with their relationship. Without the thoughts of this could be our last night alive it turned into something real for the both of them. Ashley remembered how she would sneak into the commander's cabin in the late hours when no one was around. Even though she figured a lot of the crew probably suspected, they had all come to trust in their commander so much. The only one who would probably do anything was the xo Presley. So they of course made sure to stay out of his sight.

Skipping further ahead in her mind she remembered how the crew had about two weeks of shore leave. The commander had bought himself a vacation suite on the citadel, which he never even showed up to. He had bought it as a cover up to get on board a shuttle with Ashley to her surprise.

"Um commander" Ashley saw Shepard seating inside her own room in the transport ship

"Chief" Shepard said with a small tease

"What uh…are you doing in my shuttle cabin sir?"

"Isn't it obvious I'm on shore leave"

"No aren't you supposed to be on the citadel?"

"Nah I let joker have that, told him I wanted to get away from the public somewhere where no one could find me."

"You do know I am visiting my family right?" Ashley gave with a confused look

"Well I told you to go see your family after all ash; if you really don't want me to see them I could always stay somewhere close." Shepard continued "ash I can't imagine spending shore leave anywhere without you"

"You know it's a 24 hour flight to Amaterasu Shepard"

"I know ill finally have time to finish all does mission reports" Shepard said with a big smile on his face.

"Skipper you know damn well you always finish your reports on time"

Shepard moved towards her and threw her duffel bag on the ground. "Oh I have tons of my own reports to catch on chief" Shepard whispered as he grabbed Ashley's waist and pulled her closer to him forcing a kiss as if they had been long away lover once again reunited.

"I would of half expected joker to call for you over the comm. By now skipper" Ashley teased

"There's a reason I picked a place for him on the citadel"

Ashley thought of such moments remembering how she called her family to tell them she wasn't coming home and needed time to herself. While she really just wanted that time alone with Shepard. She did however bring him to her father and grandfather's grave where he even helped her read the same poetry to them that she always read when she visited.

Wasn't Intel a few weeks later the Normandy was attack and then Shepard. "No I won't let that memory ever cloud my head ever again" she argued with herself. She looked up and didn't realize with all the thoughts in her head that she was back in the rubble. The thing was the spot where everyone was digging was the exact same spot Ashley was digging with her bare hands. Ashley got on her knees looked down and prayed.

"Dear god" she paused for a quick second " I ask to you bring shepard back into my arms like you did before" she thought of how shepard had came back to life two years later after all the time she mourned. "No one should have to see their partner die twice in a life time." She cried "I…I don't see why I deserve such a punishment like this, Shepard earned his right to live a peaceful life now."

"Amen" a voice from behind whispered

Ashley turned to her surprise saw admiral Hackett "sir?" Ashley was shocked to see him here after he recently declared Shepard dead.

"Just because I declared him dead doesn't mean I care lieutenant commander"

"He is alive sir I…I just know it."

"Well if anyone could survive this, it would be the commander" Hackett said looking towards the rubble and Ashley returned to her prayers hoping god would answer once again.

"Garrus said there is what looked like someone deep down there, I'm having heavy equipment come in to dig. Keep me posted Lieutenant" Hackett turned to Ashley "and I do hope you find him the commander he's a lucky man to have you by his side"

Shepard gave in a deep breath as what it seemed like he was losing air. Dust was flying all in around his face, barley able to move his head he could see what looked like light high above him. He could swear he heard a faint sound of voices and digging. For all he knew it was his mind playing tricks on him. "Why….why can't I remember what happened" Shepard kept thinking the scenario over and over in his mind. He recalled charging desperately to the citadel beam. How Liara and javik died before his eyes. He could remember dark hallways covered with bodies. One thing kept repeating again and again in his mind "Shepard you have done enough it's my turn, live out a full life for the both of us" Anderson's voice scared into his head. "Had Anderson sacrificed himself so I could live" Shepard thought his former co and friend in arms gave his life. Not just for humanity and the galaxy, but for him so I could live my life in peace. How Shepard made it out and what transpired in there was all a blank. "Maybe the beam caused some trauma." Shepard thought to himself trying to put the pieces together.

Whatever happened he would make sure to make Anderson's death not in vain. Shepard kept trying to struggle his right arm free. Constantly growing in pain the more his arm loosened he soon managed to get free. "I'll dig myself out with my face if I have to" shepard started yelling to himself to keep his head in the game "No way I'm going to die here like a pig"

"Hay Gurus I think whoever is down there is trying chips he's way out"

"Good eye Vega still too far down to actually let him know were up here" Garrus was relived although they still weren't sure if that was the commander at least whoever it was they were alive. "Still wish we knew if it was the commander or not"

"Shepard's to hard headed to die by a bunch of boulders" wrex said as he finally came to chat with Vega and garrus as the heavy equipment was working its way in now.

"Glad you finally decided to join us wrex" Garrus said with a joking tone

"What you guys were spending more time talking then digging, I had to pick your lazy slack Garrus"

"You're the krogan warlord you could have had hundreds of krogans digging Shepard out right now" Vega asked

"Huh you try convincing Krogans itching to mate after the Genophage was cured to stop and pick up a bunch of rocks" Wrex continued "Beside's Shepard's more of a brother to me than Wreav ever was, I owe him more than any of you slobs ever will."

"Guess you're not doing this for Ashley in any way are you wrex?" Garrus asked

"Don't get me wrong she's a good soldier and all, but she was kind of always making sure I never pulled a gun out or anything back in the old days. We just never had any conversation." Wrex gave a faint look over to her "besides back at virmire she wanted nothing more than to pull that trigger on me I could sense it"

"You did pull a gun on the commander wrex"

"I know, good times"

"Well since we are only in the way of the heavy loaders now I'm going to go check on Williams." Garrus left the two as the nodded too him. He was making his way down the rubble pushing through the Marines to get to her. She was on her knees looking down Garrus couldn't figure what she was doing she was whispering or something. "Must be a religious thing" he thought to himself"

"Williams" Ashley did not respond so he then yelled "Williams" Ashley finally looked towards Garrus

"Did…did you find him garrus" Ashley said faintly

"We found someone down there but um he is way down there so the heavy equipment is working towards him. Still there's no way to be sure if it's the commander, we won't know for a few hours."

"Who else could it be garrus?"

"I just don't want to get your hopes up Williams" Garrus knew if it turned out to be just some other marine he didn't want to see what Ashley would do next." You should really get something to eat and some rest"

"I'm fine garrus"

"That wasn't a suggestion; you have to be strong for the commander. When we finally do get him out you need to be there every minute, But to do that you need rest NOW."

"I guess there simply is no point in arguing that." Ashley agreed "alright but the moment we can talk to him I want to be the first."

"You will probably have to get behind all of Shepard's fans with him saving the galaxy and all, but I'm sure we can chip you in some time this afternoon." Garrus joked trying to at least get Ashley to smile

"Over my dead body garrus, the last thing we need is more people like Conrad." They both laughed at the thought of memories and garrus helped Ashley to the encampment once again this time joining her for some military rations before they both passed out on the ground.

Garrus may have passed out but Ashley couldn't get any sleep at such a time. She laid down keeping her eyes close at the digging going back to happier memories in her head once again.

Continued in chapter 3…..


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own anything here bioware has done and make no profit in my work… yaddyaddayadda

By Dahellraider

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><p><strong>Chapter 3 Memory Becomes Light <strong>

"Where almost through Captain" an alliance Marine engineer yelled towards his co

"Careful with that Private, I don't want us to be responsible for crushing the commander is that understood" the captain barked

"Status report" Gurus said through the comm. It had been nearly 6 hours of digging with the heavy equipment.

"We should have the commander out within the next few minutes. We don't want to rush this or the heavy boulders surrounding the dig could all come down on us"

"Understood get him out the second you can, we have a medical team standing by" Garrus shut off his comm. One of the survey teams digging was able to identify the man down there as Commander Shepard's ID. But even though he was moving earlier he had once again lost conscious, barley having any vitals.

"Guess I better get Williams up now" Garrus had let her sleep, since it nearly took her two hours to fall asleep. He wanted to wake her when they finally ID him as Shepard. However barley showing any signs of life it would have been for the best to wait.

"Williams get up Shepard's almost out" he shacked her Intel she was wide awake

"Shepard's almost out…you mean it's really him garrus" she replied

"Yes it's him" not giving garrus time to continue Ashley started rushing towards the dig

"Wait Williams he is barely alive I want you to be with the medical team when they take him towards the hospital "

"Garrus I can't I need to be Th…."

Cutting her off garrus shouted "let the professionals do their job you will only get in there way" He paused "please just wait with the medical team you can be with him every step of the way after he is out"

"Garrus…I don't know how I can ever thank you for any of this"

"The commander still owes me that victory drink at the bar remind him for me" he joked remembering his last conversation with Shepard.

"Garrus I will buy the whole bar for you."

"As long as you don't have any batarian bar tenders that will do" he laughed

"I don't get it Garrus" Ashley was confused

"It's an inside joke Shepard will understand, now please go"

Ashley headed to the medvac team as garrus went over towards the digging to make sure Shepard got out okay.

"Sir we got a hold of him" the recovery team yelled "his life signs are failing we need to hurry" the other marine in the team stated.

"He's Free" the marine shouted as it sounded like the whole place was about to collapse. The hard chunk of rubble they spend the past twenty minutes getting Shepard out of had just collapsed on the marines leg "Crap I'm stuck, Private get the commander out of here GO NOW" he shouted

"Sarge what are you doing" the private argued

"There's no time to argue soldier now go quickly NOW" He ordered

The marine put the commander over his shoulders in a fireman carry. He then quickly ran out of the dig site towards the medical team. As he raced out he heard what sounded like the whole city was collapsing behind him.

Garrus kept his gaze in the cloud of dust hoping that they would make it, when all seemed lost a single alliance marine slowly shined threw the blaze of dust carrying the commander over his shoulders. The marines were all cheering as the soldier came out limping towards the medical team.

The marine was stopped by his captain "where's Sergeant Kelly" he asked

"Sir…He didn't make it, his body was pinned as the place started collapsing. He ordered me to go I'm sorry captain your brother is dead." Private Swint said in sorrow

"He was always stubborn; the family can remember him as hero. The man who saved Commander Shepards life" The captain cried as he slowly walked away

Ashley grabbed the commander form the soldier as he left to go talk to his CO. the medical team and she rushed him towards the evac shuttle.

"Barley has a pulse we need to get him out of her stat" the corpsmen said

As they reached the medical shuttle one of the medics turned to Ashley

"I'm sorry LC you can't be on this shuttle" he ordered

"You kick me off and I swear to god you will have will have a new hole between your eyes" Ashley said bluntly

"Fine but I'll need you to get pressure on this leg wound"

Ashley nodded as he did anything the medics ordered. With tears on her face she looked towards Shepard. "Hang in there skipper you're going to make it"

**10 Hours later **

Shepard opened his eyes to see he was in some dark room. Getting his Barings he could tell he was in some hospital room. "Ahhh…" he groaned to himself. His insides felt as if he just tried to eat Krogan food not that he ever had of course. He looked around and his heart stop as he saw Ashley sleeping on a couch just on the other side of the room. For once everything seemed right for him. Shepard knew he wasn't going to waste his time anymore with what Anderson had done for him.

"Ash…" he tried to call out but just trying to talk any louder felt like someone was constantly pushing a knife through his gut. Knowing that she was alive he thought of what could have happened if he had died. Knowing her she might have taken her own life at the thought of mourning twice for him in one lifetime. He wondered what life had been like for him if he had never met her that day on Eden prime. Knowing how much she was always there watching my back. I probably wouldn't have been alive to this day if it wasn't for her.

Ashley awakened at the sound of Shepard's pain. She saw he was awake and in agony, not wasting any second she rushed to his side.

"Skipper don't try to move"

"Ash...I….it hurts" he cried in pain

"I know, they already given you what pain meds they could anymore and you will overdose." She cried seeing how much pain he was going through

"Anderson….he's dead ash" he cried looking deep into her eyes

"The marines saw him go into the citadel with you what happened."

"I…I still don't know, but I do know he sacrificed myself so I could life."

"Whatever he did it worked, the reapers are destroyed all of them." Ashley grabbed another sheet off the couch and laid it over Shepard.

"Don't you ever do that to me again skipper" Ashley continued "I should have been there at your side the whole time"

"If you did you would be dead ash, I would never been able to live with myself"

Not saying anything she slowly gave a gentle kiss into his lips trying not to cause any pain

"God that hurts but it's worth the pain" he tried to laugh but nothing pain came in

"I'm not interrupting am I" garrus said knocking on the opened door

"Of course not Garrus" Ashley said turning to him "come in"

"I was hoping for the commander to come out and by me a drink, but I guess that will simply have to wait" garrus said walking towards the other side of Shepard's bed.

"Don't worry garrus I haven't forgotten" Shepard said trying to laugh

"Please don't make him laugh right now Garrus"

"Sorry I couldn't help it, I hear every species wants to ward you every heroic medal out there. Huh you meet need to wear two jackets to fit them all." Garrus laughed "wrex told me to wish you well, he would have stayed but he uh has business to take care of."

Shepard gave a slight motion what looked like a smile "I don't blame him"

"I want to stay Shepard but I need to go back to Pavilion in search of my family"

"Jeez go garrus you never had to stay for me, I'll keep in contact let me know what turns up."

"Frankly I didn't stay for you I stayed to make sure Williams was alright." He turned to her and gave her a smile

"Thank you garrus I don't know how I can ever repay you"

"I think it was my turn to owe you let's just call it even for now" garrus walked out and turned at the doorway "Intel next time Shepard" he waved

Shepard turned his head towards Ashley "finally some R&R Williams"

"I think you deserve it skipp…."

Another slight knock came at the door and Shepard whispered "you really should have closed that door"

"I'm sorry commander I won't be long" Admiral Hackett entered the room. "I just want to congratulate you son, you have no idea what debt the galaxy owes you"

"Thank you sir, but I think we all owe Anderson that congratulation" Shepard said in a soldiers tone.

"Don't worry shepard he has it" Hackett gave a salute to Shepard "if there's anything you need commander don't hesitate to ask"

"Thank you sir but I….wait there is one thing sir" Shepard asked

"Name it Commander"

"Can you get me a pastor ASAP" Shepard said with a smile

"Is this really the time to repent for your sins skipper" Ashley asked looking at Shepard confusedly

"Hardly Ash….I'm not going to waste a single moment Anderson gave to me. " Shepard smiled

Looking into her eyes Shepard asked the one thing he always wanted to "Ashley Madeline Williams will you marry me"

Not even thinking of answering Ashley simply forced a kiss into him forgetting that he was in pain. They had not even noticed Hackett had left agreeing to Shepard's request.

Continued in chapter 4…


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own anything here bioware has done and make no profit in my work… yaddyaddayadda

By Dahellraider

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><p><strong>Chapter 4 Light Shines on Shadows<strong>

Spending over a week in the hospital recovering was driving Shepard crazy. Even though there were no witnesses Shepard and Ashley had been married. They agreed to have a more official ceremony later for their families. He just didn't want to waste any time he had.

"I need some air" Shepard said to himself glancing at the clock and noticing it was 6 am. Being an early time, he could walk around and not catch any attention. Before walking out he looked towards Ashley who was sound asleep on the couch in the room. Before heading out limping his way towards her covering another sheet on her and rubbed her hair while giving a slight kiss on her forehead trying not to wake her.

Shepard entered the hallway and grabbed a pair of crutches. Looking around there was not much activity going on. Reapers don't take prisoners so that didn't leave much room for wounded sadly. He slowly walked his way out the door into the crumbling streets. The reconstruction efforts had been long underway. Most of the rubble was cleared from the streets. Lots of buildings had been blocked off as they were unstable. Still looking around there was still a sense a beauty in the city.

"Wish you could have shown me your hometown Anderson" he said to himself thinking of one of his last conversations with Anderson in the liberation of earth.

Making his way around the corner he noticed a squad of alliance marines in what looked like a church service. With all that has happened, people have still given into faith. Ashley was religious it's why he asked for a pastor rather than sign a piece of paper. Shepard lost his faith years ago, however it always felt like someone was watching over him.

"SHEPARD" Ashley yelped heading right up to him outside the hospital "you're not supposed to be on your feet for at least another few days" pulling Shepard's arm around her shoulder putting the crutches aside "don't disappear on me again or you're going to give me a heart attack" Ashley said calmly

"I can't stand doing nothing in a hospital room ash" Shepard explained taking one last glace at the service before Ashley pulled him away.

"I can't either skipper, but I didn't go walking around the citadel when I was in the hospital" she smiled

"Ash were married now you don't have to keep calling me skipper"

"Shepard" a voice from behind them called out

"Yes" both Ashley and Shepard replied looking at each other with a slight laugh.

"I'm sorry I didn't know I guess congratulations are in order" the man replied

"Thanks...Captain" Shepard seeing his rank on his BDU "is there something I can help you with sir"

"You don't have to sir me commander you're a hero" he paused for a quick second "my brother gave his life to pull you out of the rubble I wasn't sure if you knew"

"I heard something like that, but I haven't been given the full story. I'm sorry for your lose"

"I'm not here for vengeance or anything like that commander. He was always stubborn and frankly was a failure in the family. A trouble maker at heart you can say." He stopped and glanced down to his own hand holding something of value.

"Whatever he was in the pass doesn't matter. I can't say I was worth his life, because I wouldn't want anyone to die for me."

"Whatever we want doesn't matter commander. What my brother did was his way of redeeming honor. Seeing what you did gave him the reasons to enlist you were his inspiration." The captain held something in Shepard's hand "He would be honored if you had something to remember him. I know you think this would be better for me to have, never the less he would want you to remember him the most for his actions." The captain gave a salute and pivot his way around and walked off.

"What did he give you Shepard" Ashley asked after being respectful to the conversation.

Shepard opened his hand to reveal a set of dog tags. The label of the man that gave his life for him Ryan Kelly Alliance Marines "Another name to add to a long list of people who should be alive on this day instead of me" Shepard said quietly remembering all the people who died because of him. "Kaidan, Mordin, Thane, Liara, Javik, Anderson, and now Ryan. Too many died because of me Ash I shouldn't be alive."

"You stop that right now Skipper" Ashley said with a slight anger tone "if they all had a second chance they do it all over again. Trust me survivors guilt won't help I know"

"I know I just can't handle adding to the list" Shepard said with tears on his eyes

"It's over skipper" Ashley reassured "you will never have to add to that list as long as we live. Now come on get back inside on that bed before you break something" she ordered

"Last time I remember I was the one in charge Ash" Shepard teased

"And last time I checked I was your wife skipper"

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><p><strong>Two Weeks later <strong>

Today was finally the day Shepard kept thinking to himself. The day He was going to get back into the world. He had checked out of the hospital earlier that day, and the second Ashley and him had exit the doors they were swarmed by all kinds of reporters wanting to get an exclusive with the hero of the galaxy. A couple of Marines had came in the crowed pushing them aside so Ashley and him were able to make it to a transport they he requested.

"So skipper where we going? " Ashley smiled putting herself on top of Shepard for a warm and much needed kiss she wanted.

"Remember when said let's get it done and go home" Shepard said barley able to let herself pull away from him.

"Of course I do" she said pulling her back into his grasp

"Well it's done ash" he said while rubbing her back as he started kissing her neck "it's time to go home"

"And where would that be skipper" she pulled herself away trying not to go too far into things while in a shuttle.

"Nowhere in particular right now, but it doesn't matter as long as your there with me its home"

"What about the alliance" she asked

"I'm done ash. I have had enough for one life time" he said giving a slight relief to himself looking forward to retirement

"If you're done then I'm done skipper" Ashley said smiling as she laid her head on his shoulder

"Ashley I don't want you to end your career for me" Shepard said placing his arm around Ashley

"I don't want to ever be away from you, besides I broke the Williams curse on my own. I'm ready to move on with what I want"

"What you've always wanted was your career Ash."

"God it's funny that you don't know what your own wife wants." she said laughing

Ashley reached over her neck grabbed her dog tags and threw them at the floor. "Guess we both don't have are ranks anymore"

"I don't think that's how retirement works Ash." He laughed as he rubbed the back of her head.

"No but it's just so much fun that way" she giggled

"Well than I guess I'll let to have Hackett know the first two human spectre's are now the first two human spectre's to retire."

The shuttle landed into the spaceport and they both grabbed their bags and left the shuttle holding each other close. Ashley turned and gave a glance bag at her tags

"Are you sure this is what you want Ash?" Shepard said seeing her worrying glance

Ashley said nothing and slapped her hand on the door switch of the shuttle "come on skipper lets decide where we go from her. To that fresh start you wanted"

Shepard and Ashley made their way into the transport hub where they needed to decide. Looking over a terminal Shepard had a few places in mind. Shepard grew up in the alliance so he never really had a home and the heard that Ashley's family was deciding the only one settled. However they wanted to live somewhere alone together. Of course they would still visit her family. They both wanted a fresh start somewhere new. In that moment Shepard thought long knowing the perfect place. He booked two tickets not telling Ashley.

"Come on Ash "Shepard tugged ash towards him walking towards the transport

"Skipper we still need to decide where to go" Ashley argued

"I know exactly where we are going Ash. Just trust me it's the perfect place."

Shepard covered her eyes as they walked around the corner in the spaceport making sure she didn't know where they were heading. "No peaking Ash, don't worry I wouldn't take you somewhere you haven't been too."

"All the places we've been to skipper that doesn't really limit the options for me the guess." Ashley laughed

"True for all you know where heading to Tuchanka" he joked

"Skipper if you did that you would be having a very miserable wife."

"Miserable you mean you wouldn't just pack your bags and leave."

"I told you Shepard I'm never leaving you again, that doesn't mean you can get any funny ideas." she smiled

Entering the shuttle Shepard guided their way to their cabin. Shuffling her and the bags in Shepard finally freed her eyes.

Ashley looked around and thought in her memories. She turned towards Shepard and gave the funniest smirk.

"What?" Shepard ask

"I guess you finally have more time to work on your reports skipper"

"Yeah My reports do have a lot of catching up to do."

Shepard Grabbed Ashley towards her while pressing his hand on the lock button of the cabin.

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><p>This is not the last planed chapter just expect slower updates now as i continue writing and having my beta help me re edit my chapters. please be patient :)<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything here bioware has done and make no profit in my work… yaddyaddayadda **

**By Dahellraider**

**Ok here's the deal, been a while since you update Dahellraider what's going on with ya? Yeah I know it has. This chapter is longer than it looks so first things first. I split them up into about 3 chapters. Otherwise it would take me much longer to publish chpt 4. So chp 4, 5 and probably 6 will all be this length. If not a little longer. Also I had to re write it so many times it's not funny. I'm doing this so it would be easier to have constant updates again and still have time to work on my other story Soldiers out of place. So yes you can probably expect the next chapter later this week, or early next week and that's the good news. The bad news is I'm hungry and I have nothing in the house to make pancakes. Yes I went there, so yeah people enjoy.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 4 the Shadows of the Future <strong>

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><p>Shepard awakened from one the greatest nights he hasn't had in such a long time. Well to him it felt like forever since the last time. He went over to the bathroom in there cabin, washing his face off, while looking into the mirror. Looking deep into face, seeing his new scars he had gotten from the battle. Images began to once again reappear from his mind. He kept bashing his head, trying to remember what happened on the citadel. Only those few words from Anderson came to him.<p>

'There had to be more' he thought to himself. 'There has to be a reason for everything'

Dreading on such memories would not help, Shepard knew that. The only thing he could do was fulfill Anderson's last wish living a good life, for the remainder of his days. However shepard was still determined to remember what happened.

'Another time perhaps' he thought to himself again.

Shepard heard a faint beeping sound coming back from the room. He slowly went back inside, thankfully Ashley was still sound asleep. He didn't want to wake her so early. knowing it wasn't an alarm, he reached for his personal comm Unit, heading back inside the bathroom to take the call not waking Ashley.

He opened his comm Unit, and the video frame revealed admiral Hackett. "Commander, I realize it must be late" he said, the feed of the video was coming in relatively smoothly.

"I'm not a commander anymore, didn't you received our resignation files?" Shepard asked in a low tone.

"I did, and resignation or not. You will always be the Commander to the alliance"

"I'm not coming back Admiral, were both done"

"I'm not calling you to so, I just thought you would want to know"

"Know what" shepard was a bet confused as to why Hackett was now calling him.

"We recently finished clearing out all the rubble in London, and we found the remains of Anderson"

"What, how is that possible?" shepard asked loudly

"We don't know Shepard"

"You said remains; I take it that means he is dead"

"Yes, I'm sorry Commander. But there wasn't much of him left"

Shepard knew it would be too much to hope for him to still be alive after all this time.

"May I ask where you're heading Shepard, you know no matter where you go, you will just continuously be hassled by the press and basically everyone else in the galaxy. Hell to some people you're a god Shepard"

Shepard Already thought of this, no matter where he went to spend some private time. He would be nothing but bothered by people for quiet some time.

"It's hard to find someone in space Admiral"

"Ah I see, never figured you two for space pioneers. How long do you plan on this"

Shepard wasn't all surprised he knew exactly what his plans were when he said space. Still he trusted the admiral, and a few years exploring would be one hell of a way to spend a honeymoon.

"I don't know admiral, a few years maybe. By that time, saving the galaxy will be old news for the press" he laughed. "When that's over with, I've always thought about teaching maybe"

"Mr. Shepard huh, hell your class would probably be the hardest to get into just by your name alone" Hackett said with a humorous tone.

"Well it won't be a choice class for some college, figure I do better in a junior high or something. Maybe on some small colony"

"Whatever plans you have Shepard, I'm sure they will be in peace. If you ever need anything just ask, until then It's been an honor commander" Hackett said saluting.

Shepard returned his salute through the vid comm. "Same with you sir" The comm Then went off.

Shepard turned around at the sound of the bathroom door sliding open.

"John, you're up early. Something on your mind" Ashley asked, walking in the bathroom coming towards Shepard to stand next to him.

"Oh nothing" shepard looked at the time. "Oh it's early indeed"

"Told you John, want to head down to the mess for breakfast. I heard they're serving pancakes" Ashley said with a slight smile looking at Shepard.

"Oh yeah, one of my favorite breakfast foods" Shepard laughed while washing his hands.

"That's why I married you skipper, we have so much in common" Ashley said snickering.

"Really ash, because I thought you married me because I have such a quote 'great ass' "

Ashley gave Shepard A playful punch on his shoulder "You ass" she laughed

"Exactly Ash" shepard teased

"Just meet me down there Skipper" Ashley said heading out of the cabin.

"Aye Aye Ma'am" shepard said with a playful salute.

Before Shepard Headed out with her, he heard a message come up over his Comm again. He was frustrated now for being bothered, so he reached for it to turn off the comm permanently, when he then noticed what the message was. It was again from Hackett, but this time it was just an email reading

**-Dear Shepards**

**Consider this a wedding gift from humanity itself. Live out your life's in peace, they way life should be.**

**-Hackett**

There was an attachment with the short message; inside was documentation for ownership of a ship already paid in full by the alliance at the docking station they were heading towards.

'Dear god' he again thought to himself 'this must be the most expensive privately owned ship in the galaxy'

Not only that, the ship was built exactly for the purpose shepard had in mind. He just smiled at the thought, quickly heading out to join Ashley.

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><p><strong>The next day <strong>

**DD587 Shipping dock **

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><p>It had been a short trip, but they didn't have far to go. Ashley still didn't know what was going on.<p>

"John, where are we?" she asked, still unsure of where they were.

"A shipping Dock ash" He said walking towards a vendor desk.

"I can see that, but why are we here?" she said following Shepard.

Shepard just pointed at the window next to the desk. The ship Hackett and the alliance had bought for them was right outside the window, already being processed for them.

"John, what's that?" Ashley asked looking towards the surprise Shepard had for her.

"It's a ship ash"

"I thought you said we were going to a nice place to spend some time"

"Think about it ash, what better way to spend time. Than to spend that time in the stars"

Shepard didn't bring ash to a planet; he brought her to a shipping yard. Not telling Ashley the ship was actually a gift, sure it wasn't some alliance frigate like the Normandy, but it was a very nice explorer class ship. These ships weren't cheap; they were small and carried some top notch systems. The ship was no military vessel, but could handle itself in a fight, if it got into trouble with slavers or mercenaries.

"John, if I wanted to spend time in space. We could have just stayed on the Normandy" Ashley didn't know what to make of this. She knew shepard grew up as a spacer, but she was always more of a small colony girl. "What kind of life did you have in mind with this John?"

"Ash, were not spending a lifetime on this thing"

"Only Rich bastards live on ships Skipper, besides two people operating a ship isn't easy"

"The ship comes with a very sophisticated VI, and I've always wanted to pilot my own ship"

"What, you don't want joker flying"

"If joker was with us ash, than he would always interrupt us…well…you know" he said laughing.

"I guess he would" she giggled. "It's not exactly safe in space John; you know that better than anyone"

"It's not like we're going into the terminus systems Ash, besides were still specters. We can handle anything"

"We could have spend the next few years on just some tropical planet or something, you know I would have been fine with that"

"we would just be hassled by the press anywhere we went, everyone wanting their big scoop on us"

"Oh I see, so this is like a travel on the road thing."

"There's no roads in space ash, it's more of a, stay off the grid thing"

"Well skipper you sure now how to take a girl on a honeymoon. Just one question John"

Shepard turned around after filling out the paper work for their new ship. "What's that ash?"

"How much did you spend on this with your….our money" Ashley realized them being married now, they shared expenses, yet it wasn't something that had ever been on the top of her mind.

"I didn't have to spend a single credit Ash" Shepard said smiling.

"What do you mean John?"

"The ship was a gift, from Hackett and the alliance"

Ashley smiled, she was thankful shepard didn't have to spend a fortune on the thing. "Guess saving the galaxy three times deserved a pay day skipper" she laughed.

Shepard grabbed a hand around her waist. "C'mon, let's take a look at our new ship"

They both started walking towards the airlock of the ship, with the pass code the vendor gave them, entering the code in on the terminal of the airlock. Both excited to see the inside of their new ship for the first time.

"So what are we going to do with the ship after a few years John?" Ashley asked, as they were walking inside the airlock.

"Probably sell it, and get a nice house" Shepard said holding Ashley close to them as they were walking down the long airlock.

"Any idea where you plan to buy this house in the future" Ashley was indeed curious if he had an idea of where he wanted to settle after a long much needed private time together.

"Ash, we are going to settle wherever your family lives of course"

Ashley stopped shepard from walking any further, she grabbed him into a tight hug. "Thank you John" she said softly.

Shepard Knew her family was important to her. So he planned for the day they did settle for good, it would have to be near her family. "Anything for you ash, you know that"

"I know skipper, so what name did you give to our ship"

Shepard stopped, he thought to himself hard. Not giving any thoughts earlier about the name, he could just use the name the ship came with. No he knew exactly what name he would use.

"Its the Anderson ash"

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><p><strong>This Took longer than it should have, I blame exams. Anyways expect the next one real soon.<strong>


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